I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
