so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
