I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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