These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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