I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
