My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
