Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
