Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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