My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
