Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
