well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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