had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The Olympian is in my bed
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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