So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
not ubering you a puppy
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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