we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
