arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
