I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
