in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
