I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
