i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
