Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Randomize
