We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
