I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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