If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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