So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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