when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
did you just send me my own nude
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
