We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
