I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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