It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize