I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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