Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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