you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
