I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
