Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
