it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize