my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
