I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
