He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
