i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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