Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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