since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize