my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
