it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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