White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
