Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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