Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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