honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
