I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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