:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
