hotel room ftw
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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