I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
