dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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