I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
