why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize