I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
