pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Randomize
