He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
This baby is an asshole
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
