with your own penis?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
