I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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