Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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