This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
birth control should be required to get into college
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
