Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
