what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
