Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
