lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
