dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
