8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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