just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
