420 ftw
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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