you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
