My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
is that a dick in a sweater?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
