Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
