forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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