We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I need help removing her.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize