Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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