i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
