her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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